Knackered

5 weeks to go and I have to say that I think I have been training pretty hard. I was hoping by now that I would be feeling super fit and enjoying the training. But to be honest I am knackered all the time and I really, really didn’t want to go out for a run yesterday I did manage a ten-mile run, but I am quite achy today and I am a bit of a misery guts.

It took me 3 hours from starting prepare to go for a run to actually getting out of the house. I was ok once I got out, but for some reason I just found it really hard to get myself motivated and get on with it. I didn’t even have an excuse  that the weather wasn’t nice, it might have been a bit humid, but it wasn’t exactly the Sahara.

Once I finally got out the house (and after going the wrong way for a couple of minutes) I headed off to Brockwell Park, which was much more busy than I had expected!  There was an Urban Green Fair (which you had to pay an entry fee to get in – I didn’t have any money on me, so can tell you no more about it I am afraid) which looked very interesting and very popular. There was also a fairground (which you had to pay an entrance fee to get in – a bit of a trend there) which had a Ghost Hotel (a more pricey Ghost House I reckon) and some inflatable slide things. I think the ethos contrasted with the Urban Green Fair (which was solar-powered) as it had massive generators pumping out music and to keep the rides from grinding to a halt. 

The fair ground didn’t appear that busy, I like to think that was because all the kids wanted to go on the steam train but as the train takes 5 minutes to complete the 200m track it isn’t the most scary of rides.

Four laps of the park (with my attempting to snoop on the fair and the fairground) and then home again. 10 miles. Somehow this feels like is should mean something, like I should be pleased with my progress. But I am just too tired to really be bothered. And it isn’t really like I can eat loads of chocolate to feel better, maybe it was the guilt factor before, but now I am hungry all the time and I need to eat for energy it sort of takes the excitement away. Bad food (like my favourite the cheese savoury sarnie) just makes me feel grim, my body wants healthy food, but my head wants trashy food. It is a battle of wills and I am not sure who will win.

I was sorting out my bedroom the other day and was disturbed to find empty bottles of Lucozade, For Goodness Shakes and numerous water bottles. Running clothes, magazines and paraphernalia were all over the place. I went to the pub with a friend over the weekend and I only had one alcoholic drink because any more and I would find my run the following day more sluggish. Is it bad that training for the Royal Parks appears to have taken over my whole life? arranging the rest of my weekend around my run? Is the first thing I want to see in the morning numerous pairs of trainers scattered all over the floor? Have become everything I always despised?!

Is this going to get worse or can it only get better? Is venting on my blog better than just being driven slowly insane by the drip drip drip of only ever thinking about running/eating after running/ that something aches after running.

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